last online: 2 weeks ago
joined: 3 years ago
Nobody knows the exact origins of melgesevad. Some people suggest that he was lost in a storm at sea when he was a small child and was subsequently raised by dolphins, just like Tarzan was raised by apes. Others suggest that he was born when a necromancer tried to breed spiders and gorillas, to try to get a spider that was harder to squish.
In any case, he appeared out of obscurity one day, when he defeated the champion gladiator Tyrantares the Ballcrusher in a completely unexpected 25 seconds of vicious brain-splattering, gut-wrenching(literally), bone-crushing bloodshed. He was then forced to fight in one of the dreaded 100 lion fights, where he again triumphed unexpectedly, becoming one of the most successful and sought-after gladiators of his time.
The people could not guess at the secret of his success. Some people attributed it to his mysterious origins, while others believed that it was the result of his strict diet of mashed donkey-brains and the livers of his defeated enemies. However, his real secret was a jar of Gypsy tears he had bought for a fake copper coin at the market.
His downfall came as quickly as his unexpected and meteoric rise to fame and glory. He discovered the internet, and an incident with identity theft resulted in the loss of his jar of Gypsy tears.
So when he went to fight 300 bears, his body was torn into millions of tiny shreds and devoured. But his ghost lives on, haunting the internet. Let us learn our lesson from his life. Let us learn that only a jar of Gypsy tears offers 100% protection from the wrath of 300 bears.
Made by Zebulor
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